helpful travel tip #1

no matter how much you want to, never ever snort hard contact cleaning solution up your nose.

or so this woman told me while i was waiting at the denver airport tuesday.

seems she grabbed a small squeeze bottle out of her bag without looking at the label, and squirted it into her nose.

she and her husband were frantically trying to call the number on the bottle, but all they could get was a busy signal. seems they buy their meds from canada, i'd assume to save money.

see what being a cheapskate can get ya?

panicked in an airport, bugging strangers who have been travelling all fracking day, and telling anyone within earshot the gory details of your "great nasal passage massacre."

i suggested they call poison control (since i've got two small kids, i've got this number on speed-dial at home), or talk to the airport medics.

which they did.

which made them leave me alone.

now, ms. stanton might say that i missed an opportunity to network with those folks. who knows, that couple could have been the sausage king and queen of chicago.

i guess i'd really rather have clients who can read the fracking manual (or label, in this case) as opposed to ones who don't.

the ones who don't tend to make rash decisions that cause all kinds of havoc, don't listen to my advice anyway, then want to affix blame when stuff starts breaking.

the ones who do tend to care more, value my services, and are happier with the results, which makes me...a very happyfunboy.